Yesterday during my five-minute drive from the beach to my house, I caught a snippet from ‘Ira Glass - This American life’ on NPR. They were talking about the difference in people who choose flight verses invisibility. The show was about superheroes, there must have been a reason I landed on that specific snippet.
I had quite a whirlwind of a week, and perhaps many of my weeks stir around but this was a big week and I must have been more conscious of my days leading… to today. The week started at a wedding, as they often do. I photographed my very close friends’ wedding, I played my professional role, held it together the whole day, and when they sliced through their cake at the end of the evening I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed with the gift of sharing their moment. All their loved ones were surrounding them but through my lens it was just me, witnessing them as I know them so well and capturing it, forever. What a moment. I cherished it, I thought ‘this is good, I am lucky, I’m in a good place’.
The rest of the week went a little something like this. Booked a wedding, shot another wedding, booked another wedding, got dumped for the first time, had a melt down, booked a third wedding, and then hosted a dinner for 8. The very last day before today I squeezed in the beach with my pup, a dance class, visited the nursery, gardened, shopped, and went out with the girls. Man.
Maybe I was just keeping myself busy. Maybe I didn’t want to think that I had been rejected. I had wanted to cancel it all (well not the bookings!). I wanted to allow my sadness to swim a little in my heart, but that lasted no more then a few moments. I reminded myself of all the hard work I’ve put into success, relationships and that one magical word, happiness.
Today I turn 35 and I choose flight. I choose to soar uninhibited and free. I invite my fears to join me for the ride and the whirlwinds of my days to stir as they wish. Today I will fly.
“Flight is the hero– selfless and confident and unashamed. And invisibility, the villain.”
- John Hodgman (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/178/transcript)